Your (former) Quizzomaster and Scorebabe: Ready for Action

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Worst Blog Ever

So the same two teams won first and second for both games. What a surprise. The cream keeps rising to the top and the dregs keep losing, but they're also probably getting a whole lot more play...

Things we learned at Quizzo this week:
  • Girls still lose their shit when they get to sing along to Spice Girls.
  • Boys still lose their shit when they get to air guitar along to Boston.
  • Duck's are shy birds. Given the opportunity to chat up a young, single scorebabe (a rare thing at Quizzo), Mr. Duck chose not to use the clumsy ploy his team forced upon him to his advantage by even make eye contact, let alone talking to Miss Vanessa. Silly dude, Becca's come back soon, how many more opportunities will you actually have?
  • Susan B. Anthony and Sacajeweah are not the only women on US currency. Damn you commemorative state quarters! But thank you for your contribution to our understanding of the indomitable human spirit, Miss Helen Keller.
  • Sarah's back! (Not to mention the rest of her...) After a long studious break Miss Ushuaia Herself graced us with her presence. Unfortunately she didn't study for Quizzo as hard as she'd been studying for the GREs and was steamrolled along with the rest of the folks at the bar.
  • Rob knows a lot of very long Oscar winning movies.
  • Laila's team doesn't trust her. But can you really blame them?
  • When there's no half-time show, there's no half-time show. Quit your belly-aching.
  • Clavins tend to attract ringers from other teams when their teams don't show up, thereby building their talent pool. Learn from this children: show up to Quizzo lest your one-time friend becomes your mortal Clavin enemy.
  • When Neal should be writing his blog he's spending time elsewhere.
Remember kids, even though Mommy and Daddy will be away next week, there still will be Quizzo. But be on your best behaviour for our stand-in, The Professor, because if you're not nice we'll hear all about it. The Professor's pretty much a cry baby tattle-tale, you see.

Love you. Mean it.


GAME ONE

The Calvins 30









Hugs for Drugs: The Chris Benoit Story









Camel Clutch









SHRUNKEN BENOIT BALLS 11
CLEVELAND BROWNS ARE BETTER THAN THE STEELERS 16
CAROLINA 8
BONG HITS FOR JESUS 19
PHANTOM OF MY ASSHOLE 21
BEARS DON'T FLY 13
CHOKING THE COMPETITION LIKE CHRIS BENOIT 20
DUCK + NEW SCORE BABE = LOVE 22
NO JEWS? NO SCIENTOLOGISTS? tHAT'S IT, I'M MOVING TO GERMANY 21
DEAD BENOIT BALLS 14
GHOST OF CHRIS BENOIT 20
DICK CHENEY BEFORE CHENEY DICKS YOU 14
LIBERAL REPUBLICANS FOR GORE 12
AIR CONDITIONED NUT SACK COZY 17
STRAIGHT-GAY ALLIANCE 11
NOT ANOTHER PARIS HILTON JOKE 17
OUR PEN IS MELTING 19
POURO AT THE QUIZ HOUSE 20
ACID TABS FOR SATAN 16
WHAT WOULD JESUS BONG? 22
BRING IT 10


GAME TWO (Rejected Ben & Jerry Flavors)

Clavin Crunch









Tiananmen Square Tank Tracks










Peach Fuzz Gobbler 30










CHOCOLATE TURTLE HEAD 29
PARIS HILTON GAVE ME HERPES IN LOCK UP AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT (and teamname) 22
PRALINES AND CREAM ON MY FACE 24
JERRY'S CHERRY BACK HAIR 24
COOKIES AND CREAM IN MY EYE 13
AMY FISHER FOOD 17
RUBBERY TAINT MINT 23
BLOOD ON MY BALLS, SHIT ON MY DICK (people, my mom reads this blog, come on) 29
THAT CAN'T BE A COCK, A COCK IS A 10 INCH CHOCOLATEY THING YOU SUCK ON 19
BACK DOOR BANANA JAMMER 14
MORBIDLY OBESE HUBBY 29
MICHAEL JACKSON'S EVER WHITER CHOCOLOATE 21
VANILLA BALLS AND CHOCOLATE LOGS 21
DOUBLE FUDGE POKER BUST A NUT 26
BEARS FLY IN THE ICE CREAM 23
REESES FECES 28

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Hey guys- have fun on vacation- I will be out of town, too, so I won't be too sad about missing Quizzo. See you next week! (And thanks for making The Duck famous).

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