Six years of bitching and moaning

So where the hell have I been? Do you know? Do you care? (A Phil Collins song, yes? Discuss.)

It's been an odd month. I had surgery. (here's a picture of me shaved down, ladies. Enjoy.) And yes, it takes three holes to take out one appendix nowadays. Inflation I guess. Then I got a little sick. Then I went back to Cali for my high school reunion. Then I got really super sick. But now I'm all better. I know this is all very fascinating... and through it all work has been the busiest its ever been (literally) in the 6 years I've been here. (Oh, quick plug: there's a Pay-What-You-Can matinée performance of The Taming of the Shrew this Sunday at 2:00. If you have a hankering for inexpensive classic theatre, come on down and pay as much or as little as you see fit. You cheap bastards.)

Speaking of being here six years, yes last week was our/my six year anniversary of doing Quizzo at the Pour House. I was supposed to start 9/11/01 but a terrorist attack in New York and at the Pentagon happened. Did you read about that? Anyway, I started a week after that with four teams (three of which were groups from work, thanks for the support!) and I didn't have a microphone and I just stood in the middle of the bar yelling questions at people. Did it like that for about four months before someone thought to get me a mike. Shortly thereafter I got a scorebabe which is way cooler than a mike. The game was pretty much the same as it is now, but there was no theme-name round, no half-time show and all the speed rounds were made of wood. The bar was a little crazier then. Ladies used to flash for bonus points, we used to have free rounds of shots for the speedround winners and on more than one occasion the evening ended with ladies dancing on the bar. Well, at least for our six year anniversary we did get one brave young lady named Layla to dance on the bar for us (pictured here).


I'm not saying it was better in the past, just different.

The staff still changes from time to time, but the bartenders and servers have almost all been uniformly great (if they're not, they usually don't last long). We've had lots of regulars. I know a lot of you think you're the most die hard team we've ever had, but there were really great die hard teams before you (The Regulars, Mama Sharkey's crew, e.g.) and there will be new die hard teams when you eventually move on. We won't mind, we'll probably still be here.

Frankly, I don't know how much longer I'll be doing Quizzo. I hope to God I won't be doing it six more years from now and yes, every now and then I entertain the idea of just signing off at the end of a really good night with a "so long, suckers!" and just never come back. But I also know, I like the crowd, I like the money, I like rocking the mike and I like knowing no matter how bad my day was (and I do come in to the bar a little grumpy sometimes), I know that after a few rounds of questions and a few rounds of beers I'll forget all about my boss, my bills, my problems for at least a little while. And that's usually reason enough to keep me coming back. Thanks for a great six years everybody.

GAME ONE

$30 WINNER - Ah-madinejad? No, You're Adinejad! 34










$20 WINNER - Persian Rug Munchers 33











$10 WINNER - Hey, It's Enrico Palazzo! 32










Iranian Rainbow Coalition 26
Krodgblat 26
Raiding the Holocaust Museum with OJ and Ahmadinejad 27
At Least He Went Quietly 27
J 25
Ahmadinejad's Boy Toys 29
Red-Headed Jew 19
Necrophilia: the Victimless Crime 30
Jack Bauer Didn't Drive Drunk, He's Infiltrating Yakuza 30
The Rogue Nipples 15
Chicken Out 15
Ahmadinejad Secretly Loved Showtunes 15


GAME TWO (Favorite L Words)

$30 WINNER - Ligers 35









$20 WINNER - Liechtenstein 24









$10 - Leering, Leprous, Lascivious Leprechauns 31










Lickalotapus 29
La'crodgbladt 27
Lieutenant Dan's Legs 29
Lick My Balls 29
Chicken Out 23
Lugubriously 27
Love's Labia Lost
Liberace's Lithe In Iran 24
L-ien 29
Lesbians Love Leftover Labia 24
Lost (cubed) 21
Loopy 13
No Name 14
Energy 15

Better Late Than Pregnant

Oh, we've been bad little bloggers, haven't we? The busy season has begun for the Shakespeare Mafia, and we're sorry to have neglected you, our dear little quizzlings. Here are the names, scores, and pictures for September 11, 2007. Happy birthday again, Ludacris and guy who gave us delicious cake.

GAME ONE

$30 WINNERS - Not the First Man Hillary Left in the Fetal Position and Won't Be the Last 31









$20 WINNERS - Never Forget September 11 . . . Is Ludacris's Birthday 30 (tie break winner)









$10 WINNERS - Today Is My Birthday . . . Why Is Everyone So Sad? 30 (tie break loser)









John's Night Out 15
The Taliban: Still "Just for Men" 25
It's Over - the Fat Lady "Sang" 18
My Friends Suck 15
Pillsbury Dough Girls 15
When You Canceled Trivia, the Terrorists Won 29
Three Finger Ass Slap 18
Britney Got Fat - the Terrorists Have Won 29
Poor-o at the Quiz House 14
All By Myself 11
Free Speech Pony 18
Clavins 28
Sparkly Panties 29

GAME TWO (theme: what will Neal learn at his reunion)

$30 WINNERS - Fat, Drunk, & Stupid Is A Way to Go Through Life 29









$20 WINNERS - 99 Problems: Trivia Ain't One 25









$10 WINNERS - You Only Have One Daughter! 23
(or maybe it was Alien Beat Predator 23 - either way, no pictures were taken)

Jungle Fever 10
One 14
Your Prom Date Brought Her 20 Year Old Son 19
Everyone Looks the Same, Just . . . Swelled 16
Delirium Tremens 19
Remember That Time in Woodshop? Yeah, His Name's Billy 16
Shakespeare Still Gets You No Pussy 17
Neal's Prom Dress Still Fits! 15
Clavins 22
You: Still A Virgin 22
Aborted Fetus 14

Now We Are Six

Happy birthday, Quizzo!

GAME ONE

$30 WINNER – La Reconquista 44

$20 WINNER – On the Sixth Day, Neal Created Quizzo . . . Also, OJ! 38

$10 WINNER – After Six Years, We Got Nothing 35

The Juice Is No Longer Loose 23
Vick In A Box 19
It’s Been Six Years and Scorebabe Still Won’t Do Anal! 31
Will Six Years Get the Pour House and Ring? 18
Bill Belichick: If I Did It 31
Swiftboat Veterans for Tazering Bitches 31
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers 14
After Further Review, Belachick Still a Dick 26
If the Hoody Fits, You Must Acquit 31
Withdrawal – Good for Catholics, Bad for Iraq 29
National League Is Bush League 17
Clavins 34
Sarah Likes Bikes 20
Nikki Sixxers 28
MFK 16
My Codpiece Smells Like Febreeze 18

If You Get Tasered Questioning Kerry, Do You Get the Chair for Questioning Bush? 15

GAME TWO (Sixth Anniversary Present)

$30 WINNER – Threesome With Jenna Von Oy 45

$20 WINNER – All Six Holes Filled! 41

$10 WINNER – A Six Pack of Miller High Life 40

A Divorce 36

Alien V. Predator: the Director’s Cut 38
A Stripper 22
Threesome With Another Guy 30
A Seventh Anniversary 23
Cunnilingus: Also A Cure for the Common Appendectomy 33
You Mean Besides Six Blow Jobs from the Scorebabe? 26
Clavinz 35
Who Brought the Black Guy? 26
Rose O’Donnell Wearing Nothing But A Ribbon 33
A Text Message Saying “It’s Over” 24
More Than the Average Six Inches 35
If I Did It, I Wouldn’t Tell You 15
A Clue 33

It Ain't Easy Being Scorebabe

Okay, that isn’t entirely true. Being Scorebabe primarily involves making self-deprecating comments about my (largely fictional) sexual preferences and doing grade school level math while tipsy. And belching. All of these things are, in fact, easy. Still, when my job expands to encompass Quizzomaster duties, the stakes are raised. Considerably.

For all the shit you give him, you love Neal. Hell, I love Neal. Everyone loves Neal. He’s lovable. Hitching my wagon to Neal’s star has been a lesson in humility. My nephew Scott broke my heart one Christmas by greeting me not with “Hey Becca!” but “Where’s Neal?” After years of starring in The Rebecca Show, I’ve been demoted to a supporting role in a charming spin off entitled Neal! And I’m comfortable with that - so much so that when I have to do something like oh, I don’t know, host Quizzo maybe, it’s a bit daunting. I am the Gracie to Neal’s George Burns, and I’m sure Gracie would have freaked out a little if someone had handed her a cigar and pushed her out on stage alone.

Still, I feel Tuesday went well. Not Neal well, but well enough. The vast majority of you are very supportive, and I thank you for it. You really do need to work on the heckler heckling, though. Seriously, when all I’m coming up with is crap like “hey, angry corner girl,” you’ve got to step up.

Before your scores, I must give a shout out to Andy, who is a fantastic co-host (and a great host in his own right). Oh, and Neal is recovering nicely. He should be back next week!

GAME ONE

$30 Winner – Save Ferris/Neal 34

$20 Winner – So We Are Calling Rehab Appendicitis Now? 32

$10 Winner – Clavinz 31

Phil Beats Tiger, Craig Jealous 30
Take Off Your Pants and Jacket 22
Appalachia Rises Again 27
If An Appendectomy Will Help My Looks, Sign Me Up 24
Team At the Bar 20
We’re A Come From Behind Team & That’s the Way Larry Craig Likes It 28
Baby Pony 3.9455 26
No Sex in the Champagne Room, the Men’s Room Is Right Around the Corner 30
Where in the World Is Steve Fossett? 28
Push Push In the Bush 19
Poor-o At the Quiz House 27
MFK 21

GAME TWO (Recovery Advice for Neal)

$30 Winner – Keep a Narrow Stance 33 (tie-break winner)

$20 Winner – Clavins 33 (tie-break loser)

$10 Winner –Blow Jobs Are High in Potassium 31

Team At the Bar 21
Coupla Needles In the Ass 12
Cunnilingus 24
Revenge Is Sweet: Don’t Put Topless Photos of Your Daughter Online 27
Hide Scorebabe’s Strap-on Or Use Extra Lube 21
Don’t Dry Hump Til 10 Days After 25
Baby Pony 3.9455 23
$500 & a Good Night on K Street 24
One Dose of Scorebabe 2x Daily 26
Only Bone Doggie Style 28
Codeine, Codeine, Codeine 30