It Ain't Easy Being Scorebabe

Okay, that isn’t entirely true. Being Scorebabe primarily involves making self-deprecating comments about my (largely fictional) sexual preferences and doing grade school level math while tipsy. And belching. All of these things are, in fact, easy. Still, when my job expands to encompass Quizzomaster duties, the stakes are raised. Considerably.

For all the shit you give him, you love Neal. Hell, I love Neal. Everyone loves Neal. He’s lovable. Hitching my wagon to Neal’s star has been a lesson in humility. My nephew Scott broke my heart one Christmas by greeting me not with “Hey Becca!” but “Where’s Neal?” After years of starring in The Rebecca Show, I’ve been demoted to a supporting role in a charming spin off entitled Neal! And I’m comfortable with that - so much so that when I have to do something like oh, I don’t know, host Quizzo maybe, it’s a bit daunting. I am the Gracie to Neal’s George Burns, and I’m sure Gracie would have freaked out a little if someone had handed her a cigar and pushed her out on stage alone.

Still, I feel Tuesday went well. Not Neal well, but well enough. The vast majority of you are very supportive, and I thank you for it. You really do need to work on the heckler heckling, though. Seriously, when all I’m coming up with is crap like “hey, angry corner girl,” you’ve got to step up.

Before your scores, I must give a shout out to Andy, who is a fantastic co-host (and a great host in his own right). Oh, and Neal is recovering nicely. He should be back next week!

GAME ONE

$30 Winner – Save Ferris/Neal 34

$20 Winner – So We Are Calling Rehab Appendicitis Now? 32

$10 Winner – Clavinz 31

Phil Beats Tiger, Craig Jealous 30
Take Off Your Pants and Jacket 22
Appalachia Rises Again 27
If An Appendectomy Will Help My Looks, Sign Me Up 24
Team At the Bar 20
We’re A Come From Behind Team & That’s the Way Larry Craig Likes It 28
Baby Pony 3.9455 26
No Sex in the Champagne Room, the Men’s Room Is Right Around the Corner 30
Where in the World Is Steve Fossett? 28
Push Push In the Bush 19
Poor-o At the Quiz House 27
MFK 21

GAME TWO (Recovery Advice for Neal)

$30 Winner – Keep a Narrow Stance 33 (tie-break winner)

$20 Winner – Clavins 33 (tie-break loser)

$10 Winner –Blow Jobs Are High in Potassium 31

Team At the Bar 21
Coupla Needles In the Ass 12
Cunnilingus 24
Revenge Is Sweet: Don’t Put Topless Photos of Your Daughter Online 27
Hide Scorebabe’s Strap-on Or Use Extra Lube 21
Don’t Dry Hump Til 10 Days After 25
Baby Pony 3.9455 23
$500 & a Good Night on K Street 24
One Dose of Scorebabe 2x Daily 26
Only Bone Doggie Style 28
Codeine, Codeine, Codeine 30