Girly Games for Girly Men

So the idea came to me last week, as I noticed more and more young ladies coming to play Quizzo: is my game fair to the fairer sex? Then I realized how much that last question sounded like Carrie from Sex in the City and I knew what I had to do: Ladies Night at Quizzo. I made a concerted effort to make the GLOQ (Gorgeous Ladies of Quizzo) squeal with happiness the way the guys do when I start a question with something like "In the movie Caddyshack..."; I wanted to give them the same delight. So I wrote many a question from the other side of my brain: Gilmore Girls, Bridget Jones, dELia*s, Tinkerbell Nail Polish, Hanson...

The idea was, more female-centric questions would allow the ladies an evening of beating up on the men. Well, I learned two things: The ladies don't need my help, thank you very much, and the boys at Quizzo are more in touch with their feminine sides than they want anyone to know.

Maybe it was just the squad of new dudes parked in front of us the whole game (welcome, gentlemen), but there seemed to be an inordinate number of guys throughout the bar knowing, say, what school Felicity skipped so she could be close to Ben, and then there would be the longest tirades about how embarrassed they were for knowing that stuff. Methinks the dudes was protesting waaaay too much. But it wasn't just a random question here or there. Look at the scores below: you guys (I mean the ones who pee standing up) knew almost everything! As uncomfortable as the the shirtless guys handout and the Kate Hudson movie list made you, you sure mustered up some damn good scores. But instead of being proud, you were all mortified! From the discomfort you exhibited you'd think you were back in the 8th grade getting spontaneous erections in gym. (At least we keep telling ourselves they were spontaneous...)

Look you awkward straight boys, just because you know this stuff doesn't make you gay (trust me, the gay people I know are much, much cooler than you'll ever be); it just means that your brains are much more fully developed than you'll admit to. You're open-minded, in the best sense. Be proud of that. Hell, use it to your advantage on the GLOQ. Remember, just like guys dig girls who know sports stuff, so too the ladies admire a man who knows how Court Foster died in The Man in the Moon and isn't afraid to say so.

GAME ONE
Clavins 35









Scooter Got Fucked by Dick 34









Jail ... That's Hot 33







Paris Won't Have her Vespa (But She'll Have Scooter) 32
Next in Jail: Sexy White House Socialite Harriet Meirs 31
Scooter's Cellmates 31
Chickspeare 30
Lowered Expectations 30
Matha Thawed Her Money Piles Twelve Hours Before Indictment 27
Scooter's Stay at the Paris Hilton 25
Tank Johnson's Arsenal 25
Pardon Me, I Have a Dick in My Ass 24
Sylvia Plath E-Z Bake Oven 24
Pour-o at the Quiz House 24
Where's Jaque? 21
Orange is the New Black 18
The New B's 13

GAME TWO (Worst Sequel Ever)

Sound of Music II: A Bad Habit's Hard to Break 39







Free Willy 4: Love Knows No Species 38







The Queen II: Prince Charles's Revenge 37 (tie break winner)







Look Who's Clavin Now 37
Alien vs. Predator 2: This Time Alien Wins 36
The Notebook 2: Reanimation 35
Schindler's List 2: The Resurrection 34
Schindler's List II: Rise from the Ashes 32
Casualties of Love II: The Lorene Bobbitt Story 30
Passion of the Christ: Jesus Strikes Back 29
Knocked Up: Thanks John Roberts 29
Dances with Cougars: The Beavers are Loose 28
Dirty Dancing: Just the Tip 28
How Gangrene was my Valley 25
Snakes on a Plane II: Snakes on a Boat 25
Sophie Changes Her Mind 25


Special thanks to cool Eric for loaning us a camera when ours went south. He's our hero.