Young and Old are Different

Ah, the changing of the seasons. You know summer's officially over when all the Griswalds evacuate the city and the newest batch of fresh intern gravy is ladled over The Hill. They come shiny-faced and eager not realizing that the only interns who ever make a mark in this city do so through sex scandals, corruption investigations and mysterious disappearances.

We have nights with new teams, new blood keeps the bar interesting, but usually we have enough vets there to break 'em in. That was the oddest part. We had scads of newbies and scarcely a familiar face. Was there a memo we missed? Perhaps all the kids scared them away? I only say "kids" because they weren't alive when Goonies came out, find a way to spell "pendulum" with a "G" in the middle and a number of them guessed a picture of Eddie Murphy in a space suit (from Pluto Nash) is from 2001: A Space Odyssey. "Omigod, is Quizzo always this hard?!" No, sweetie, just when you're here.

I confess the evening did skew a tad older than usual with a preponderance of classic rock questions. It wasn't meant to be a theme or anything; just sometimes my pre-Quizzo question randomizer is a little off. Speaking of classic rock, I took a flight recently on ATA airlines (crappy but cheap airline; we realized recently though that all airlines are pretty crappy these days, so it makes sense to go as cheap as you can) and in the in-flight magazine they have that page in the back that lists all the radio playlists. And they're all broken down by category: Classical Showcase, Jazz Sensations and the like. And there was the obligatory category cleverly called Oldies but Goodies. Are you ready to feel old? This list not only included Duran Duran, Alanis Morisette and A-Ha, but also Oasis, R.E.M. and Radiohead to name but a few. Again I ask, did we miss a memo? Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted to see favorite artists get their songs played (like anyone would actually listen to an in-flight music list when all the world has an iPod product), but I felt a wee offended that songs that came out in the 90's after I graduated from college now qualify as Oldies. Group these under 80's hits or Modern Cheese if you must, but not Oldies. To add insult to musical injury: the tracks they offered were in no way the Goodies. The A-Ha pick wasn't Take on Me, it was The Sun Always Shines on Television and the Duran Duran hit was ... Skin Trade? What the fuck is that? At least pull out some New Moon on Monday or Wild Boys or Save a Prayer or something that makes me say to myself "oh my, that song is an oldie, but you know, it sure is a goodie..." Sheesh. If I had dander, it would be up. It's no wonder all the new kids visiting Quizzo try my rapidly aging patience.

Why back in my day...

GAME ONE

$30 WINNERS - Britney & K-Fed: God's Argument for Abortion 32










$20 WINNERS - I Left My Pants At Your Mom's House 31










$10 WINNERS - Clavins










? 13
Anita Hill Intern So I Can Sell My Book, Too 20
Maybe We'll See the Wedding in Night Vision 23
Poor-o at the Quizzo House 26
Marsha Stuck in Her Thumb and Pulled Out Eve's Plum 29
Not Last (Hopefully) 18
Damn Leg Is Mine, Bitch! 26
Anal Bum Cover 24
It's Because I'm Blackwater, Isn't It? 19
Don't Drink the Blackwater 25
Oops . . . I Lost My Kids 19
Late Comers 28


GAME TWO - What would you get Pamela Anderson for a wedding gift?

$30 WINNERS - Long Term Memory 38 (tie break winners)









$20 WINNERS - Clavins 38 (tie break winner-losers)










$10 WINNERS - His & Hers Abortion Kits 38 (tie break losers)









Cipro 33
One Night In Paris 21
Dignity 35
How To Be An Heiress by Paris Hilton 20
Antibiotics 34
Herpes 20
A Tighter Cunt 33
A Fondue Pot 14
Divorce Papers 29
A Third Tittie 28
Hepatitus B 25
Penicillin 25
Hasselhoff's Cock 25