Quizzo: Hack Smack

Adrian Fenty just earned my vote. When can I vote for him again? Can I vote now? Under pressure of a deadline he made the decision today to force DC taxi's to make the switch from their "rare zone system" (i.e. totally retarded) to the metered system used by, um, every other taxi system on the planet Earth. Of course the cabbies are up in arms over this change, but you know what, I don't care. If you count the number of people in The District who are cabbies and the number of people who ride in cabs, you'll find the cab users are in the majority (hooray!) and we all want to know what our fare is without having to do algebra.

Yes, yes, I'm capable of simple math, but I work hard all day and I don't need the added stress of trying to figure out how much I owe at the end of a cab ride. Every ride turns into a D&D campaign: two zones ($8.80, during rush hour (+ 1.50), with one extra passenger (+1), carrying an Elvish stunning wand (+2) against a level 6 troll (-3) blah, blah, blah... just put an LED display in front of me and call it done. And who hasn't ridden in a cab after they've had a few too many only to discover your ride is waaaaaay more pricey than you thought it would be, but you're waaaaaay to drunk to coherently argue and you're suddenly waaaaay more broke than you thought you'd be at the end of the night. I'm not saying all DC hacks will take advantage of you, but come on, there are plenty who do. Sure, they'll still find ways to rip off the tourists once the meters are installed (no, truly my friend, you must go through Georgetown to get from Lincoln Memorial to White House), but at least this gives the Griswalds a fighting chance.

There's even talk of a taxi-strike. I say go for it, Johnny. I don't think it will cripple DC for an instant. First off, while not perfect, the Metro does get people cross town fairly well, we've got Flexcars and Zipcars popping up all over town (I myself, am a Zipster, god help me for writing that), and, people, it may be mid-October but it's 80 degrees outside: walking and biking are perfectly acceptable options. "But Neal," you say (which you're not, because you totally agree with me and you're not a cabbie or stupid), "what about all those high-powered politicos who have to get from The Hill to Old Ebbitt Grill stat!" Don't worry about them. They've got more taxpayer money than they know what to do with. Amongst they're own personal cars, the private towncars and limos not to mention all the interns and staff they can piggyback on, they'll get around our cozy little city just fine. You know it.

A strike would last two weeks. Tops. Trust me.

And if I'm wrong I'll just check out my Zipcar for a few hours and make a fortune as a gypsy cab. Just so long as you don't mind that the car not having a meter...