What a Feeling!

I now understand why blogs always have that mea culpa entry, flailing themselves for abandoning their readers. As if countless thousands of people were having their days ruined, RUINED I say, by not having their 45 second diversion from work (that's right, I know where you are right now). But I did say I was going to be absent for a while, working on the Free For All and what not. OK, mostly it's been what not. Sue me. BTW, I'm rocking the mic tomorrow through Saturday at Love's Labor's Lost; if you see me there give me a high five or a wedgie or something.

So this week was much more pleasant wasn't it? Renegade, Ashlee Simpson, Lazy Sunday, The Aristocats all made appearances. The soundtrack was kickin'. I saw you kids grooving along to Irene Cara; don't try to deny the power of her siren song... The questions were a bit friendlier, the handouts were, literally, easy, your scores were higher and no one threatened to punch me in the nut sack. All in all a pleasant evening. True, I almost stumped the room entirely with Conky, but one intrepid team saved you all the pain of hearing that question next week. Beautiful.

Oh, and what was up with all the cute girls in the place? I swear, don't you people know that Quizzo is traditionally only played by ultra dorky boys? I have noticed an alarming trend of more and more female dominated or even exclusively female teams participating in our evening's festivities. People, if word gets out that DC is filled with women who are cute and smart we're going to blow our national image totally. Now if we could just get the ladies to win more frequently so we could get more of their pictures on our site. Hmmmm...

Anyway, here's how the kids did this week.

GAME ONE

Wolfowitz Offers to Show Sheehan His Retirement Package 36









Clavins 34









Lindsay Gets Her 3UI 28 (Tiebreak winner)










Pediatric Gynocologists 24
Lowered Expectations 28
Low Expectations 16
The Go Gos (We're Still on Vacation) 17
Fuck Lindsay Lohan, Gimme Hannah Montana 22
It's Not Easy Being "3" 16
A Shell of Our Former Selves 20
Poor-o at the Quiz House 16
All Hail the Grist 23
I Play with Myself All the Time 27
The Elephant Sat on the Bar 18
Pink or Choco Taco? 11

GAME TWO (Toys that will never be in the National Toy Hall of Fame)
Partial Birth Operation 35









Don't Piss On the Electric Fence 32









Clavins Action Figure 31










16 Inch Dildo Lawn Darts 13
Star Jones Light Saber Dildo 27
Bobby Brown's Raggedy Whitney Doll 24
George W. Speak & Spell 23
Richard Pryor's Corpse ("The Toy") 19
My Little "Boney" 22
French Tickler Me Elmo 26
Gerber Baby Rubber Vagina 29
Stephen Hawking Action Figure 25
Electric Frozen Flag Poles 24
Obese Barbie 12

Putting the Schmack in Smackdown

Holy crap. Did I lay you people out tonight or what? Maybe it was the Yuengling, but it took me a little longer than usual to figure out that I was kicking everybody's collective ass and not even bothering to take names. I guess the multiple number of teams jokering for two (that's 2!) should have tipped me off. The high score for both games was a paltry 26. Oy vey. How do you people stumble home after a night like that when I have just spanked your chubby asses so damn hard? Sorry about that. Sometimes I just have to be mean about it. Yes, Quizzo should be a challenge, but I don't mean to cripple y'alls.

In deference to all the new faces (who are all you people?! Er, I mean, "Welcome!") I promise next week to ease up on the slap and add a little more tickle to the evening's proceedings.

Oh, and my bad on bringing a camera to the evening but failing to bring its battery. Here it is on the desk in front of me. Sorry. I ironically suck and blow at the same time. Special thanks to the cute brunette to be named later who loaned her soul-stealing photography machine which will later allow me to display the bright, shiny faces of the winning teams. But for now, les scores:

Game One

The Duke's Centennial 26
(As you can see Todd's penis compares to a $30 bar tab coupon quite favorably)











Lowered Expectations 25









Pour-O at the Quiz House 24 (Tiebreak winner)









Help Is One the Way 9 (a young lady playing solo, God bless her)
Team at the Bar 18
Awesome (not) 5
What Are We Doing Inside? It's a Beautiful Day 22
Clavins 20
Chris/Mitch 13
Avandia: Putting the Die in Diabetes 22
No Leo, Predator F***ing won! 21
Winnie the Pooh declare Fatwa on Bees 24
Amnesty for Interns if They Leave Now 21
Dear Jerry Falwell: Touch Yourself! 19 (the exclaimation point makes it funnier!)
Alcoholic Masturbation - We Drink to Feel Good 22
The Other Ben Harper 19
Estonian Cyber Attacks 12
Attorney General Short List 19

GAME TWO (Worst Presidential Debate Question)

Clavins 26 (off the schneid!)









Hillary: One Bag or Two? 22 (Tiebreak winner)









Cut or Uncut? 22
(Their hard work earned each of them almost 91 cents!)










Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom? 13
How Many Babies Have You Killed? 7
Who Knows a Poor Person? 19
Spit or Swallow? 7
Boxers or Briefs? 16
Team at the Bar 18
Are You a Pitcher or Catcher? 21
How Many Times Have You Kissed Your Mother? 18
Is Billy Salty? 21
So How Many Wives Do You Have? 15
Why are you a Republican? 19
Is that a Roll of Dimes in Your Pocket or Are You Just Glad to See Me? 10
If Deporting a Pregnant Illegal Would Result in Abortion, Should She Stay? 19
Are You Ron Paul 12

Lastly, a hypothetical: What do you do if your friend has had a few and inadvertantly/intentionally pops you in the face ... HARD. Resisting the instinct of fisticuffs you discover that hours and beers later your face hurts and your glasses still aren't sitting on your face right? That's right. Publish a picture of him dressed as Snoopy. It's the only logical revenge. Take that Paul Mangano. You dirty dog.

Remuneration, Dude.

It will be a little crazy to post much this week as I've got hosting and non-hosting duties to handle at the Free For All. I know you all know about it, but if you don't, then start knowing: The Shakespeare Theatre Company (my day job) is performing Love's Labor's Lost out at Carter Barron Amphitheatre in Rock Creek Park starting this Thursday and going until June 3rd. The show starts at 7:30 every night (except Monday) and I have to run about the grounds tending to the masses and absolutely not pushing our next season on them, that would be wrong, especially not our special 50% off for folks 35 and under. But I digress. Did I mention the Free For All is free? And a lot of fun? Well, its both those things which is what makes it so popular. The first week of the run you can usually pick up your tickets at the amphitheatre on the day of the show no problem (no guarantees people, I'm just saying...), but during the second week you've really got to line up early or you're S.O.L. The show is one of our better ones and I can't wait to see it in the park; this is a show that I predict will actually be better outdoors. I can't wait to see/hear the rock 'n' roll parts of the show playing in that amphitheatre; it's gonna kick ass.

Does it seem strange that this site doesn't seem to have much trivia on it? Something to whet the appetite. Give a little flavor of what's to come at Quizzo this week? That seems a cheap way to get people to come back (boy, once you see the Blogger dashboard stats the ol' Marketing Manager instincts kick in), but give me a few more days to figure it out. There's got to be an interesting way of throwing fun facts out there that doesn't just give away the game to devoted readers (both of you. Hi Mom!) I will tell you, just this once, that there are a few items I've dropped casually in the last few posts that will be making an appearance in tomorrow night's game. Devoted readers now have a slight edge. There: that's your hint. See you tomorrow night at the Pour House; and the rest of the week at the Free For All. Say hi!

A Bit Dickish

So I think I'm becoming that guy.

Twice today someone asked me how the City vs. City Smackdown went and instead of giving them the rundown of winners and losers, I told them to read my blog. What. A. Dick. Oy. I mean, I'm a bit of a dick in the first place, I recognize that. But to become that kind of a dick ... that's just sad. I promise to change instantly.

So speaking of the butt-kicking we took from Ottawa (ooh, I said I wasn't going to mention that agian didn't I?), let’s do a City vs.City post mortem shall we? What worked for you? What didn’t? Give me some feedback. Now, what I learned from this hootenanny is that just because nine people in as many major metropolises (metropoli?) call what they do "Quizzo" doesn't mean they're all the same thing. They ain't. My Quizzo finch is living on a different island of the Galapagos than their Quizzo finch. It was the same critter once but now theirs has a longer wingspan and ours has a sharp curved beak good for cracking seeds. Not saying one'sgood and one's bad. There's room for all God's chitlins. From CvC it just seems DC's audience digs that crazy pop culture while everyone else seems really enthusiastic about world geography. They also follow the fine traditions of Quiz Bowl style questions whilst I happily rip off You Don’t Know Jack with too many doouble entendres thrown in. Maybe if we do this again I’ll lobby to have a few more, um, entertaining questions put into the mix... Ouch. OK, in fairness the audio round was colossally, cosmically awesome and I feel like a tool for not giving the Pour House crowd such aural pleasures long, long ago; it's on my list of things to do. I swear. Aural pleasure coming your way.

But don’t just tell me what I want to hear. What did you guys think of the night? Did you mind shelling out money to play? Should it be longer? Harder? (Like anyone has ever lobbied for shorter and softer.) Dancing monkeys? What do you guys need? Help me help you.

City vs. City Smackdown Results, The Gym

Well kids, the City vs. City Smackdown has been completed across the continent and all the scores are in. Cities sent their top 5 or 3 or 2 scores in and I’ve placed them all in the chart below. All DC teams finished out of the money. And I'm only going to say this once: Ottawa mopped the floor with us. The Ottawa Fatwa is on.

But our teams should also be proud of their scores which more than held up against the majority of the cities and which, frankly, were a different format and style than we’re used to. But those freaks of nature in Philly clearly had an advantage with their superior knowledge of unimportant facts and they proved just too tough to beat. Then again, maybe it all comes down to diet; I understand scientists have yet to identify all of the nutritional benefits of Cheez Whiz. But Denver was not to be denied either, slipping into second place between Philly’s top two teams. Ladies and Gentlemen, we have got to play some serious catch up. Maybe in preparation of the next City vs. City Smackdown, I should start eliminating the fun questions from my games? Seriously though, this was a lot fun and I'm glad to be in contact with so many quizzomasters across our fair land. Looking forward to the next one already!

PHILADELPHIA Sofa Kingdom 142
DENVER Denver Misfits 138
PHILADELPHIA MAGMA 134
DENVER I Am Curious George 128
PHILADELPHIA Satan's World 124
PHILADELPHIA What's the Soup du Jour? 122
PHILADELPHIA Reservous Dogs 114

OTTAWA Plush Toy of the Apocalypse 112
SEATTLE Lactose Intolerant 110
DENVER Sex Panther On The Beach: Slaves To The Grind 109
DENVER DTC Combo 109
SEATTLE Pepperjack 105

OTTAWA Fielding Melish 104

OTTAWA Chariots on Fire 102
DC DC: The Only Capital City in North America 101









DC The Team at the Bar 99









SEATTLE The Neckbeards 98
Toronto The Single Team 97
DC The Clavins 95
DENVER Lawndarts for Mudshrimp 94
SEATTLE Mountaineers Heart $300 94
SEATTLE Par Four 94
CHICAGO Commuter Ninja's 91
ATLANTIC CITY The Mystery Machine 90
DC DC Stands for Duplicate Copy 88
DC Chocolate City with a Marshmallow Interior 86
ATLANTIC CITY The Shocker 82
CHICAGO Super Balls 80
BALTIMORE TKW 60
BALTIMORE GNOW + Bill 59

Good News While You Can Get It

Not all cities have posted their results, so there's nothing official to announce yet, but from the scores that have come in so far it appears that DC has beaten more than a few cities. I'll get all the final scores to you as soon as possible. Go DC!

Fallswell that Ends Well

Maybe it was the re-energizing effect of the City vs City Smackdown, maybe it was the sea of new blood (ew, that's a less than tasty, near Biblical image ... I mean "new players"), maybe it was the news that Jerry Falwell finally got called home, but tonight's game was ebullient and jubillent to say the least. It was jubooblient. Actually, any night where I catch a cute blonde at the bar unbuttoning her top to score extra points is bound to be an extra jubooblient night. Ah,just like the old days...

Seriously though, lots of new faces. Always nice when that happens. In the first game, the Clavins were hitting for the upperdecks, slamdunking everything in sight, greasing their shuttlecocks with wild abandon and several other sports metaphors as well as they tried to make up for their surprise loss the night before. But their sure-thing victory was plucked away from them at the last moment by upstarts Lowered Expectations who jokered for a perfect, wicked 20 in the last round. Daaaag! Meanwhile, DC Smackdown Champs (how long they gonna ride that win?) were feeling pretty cocky until they slipped to third and then lost a tie-breaker on what year the Teletubbies debuted. (The Team at the Bar, our second place winning team from City vs City clearly blew all their brain cells last night as they barely registered on the scoresheet and fled into the night after the first game. Wise choice boys.)

After a Halftime Show of current Top 40 artists (Ne-yo? Akon? Mims? Who the hell are these clowns? What happened to names I recognize? Icicle Works? Foghat? Anyone? How about Taco?) we got to the second game where those new terrors Les Cousins Dangereux (formally Lowered Expectations) jokered for 20 again in the final round to take another win. Back to back? You gotta be kidding me! That's just cruel. We have new contenders at the Pour House people. Memorize their ruthless smily faces, you'll be seeing them again soon.

GAME ONE
Lowered Expectations (35 - First)









The Clavins (34 - Second)










Falwell Devastated Upon Meeting Black Jesus
(31 - third, tie-breaker winners)









And their challengers:
The Team at the Bar 24
Paris Does Prison 21
Both J. Falwell and Gilmore Girls Finally Die 28
Go Quiz Yourself 18
Just the 3 of us 27
The Moral Majority 24
Fallswell that Ends Well 28
Moral Minority 24
And Then There Were Two 17
The Devil Went Down to GA. and Burned That Shit Down 24
Tommy Thompson for President 21
I Din't Have Gas Today 21
DC Smackdown Champs 31

GAME TWO - Theme Name: What Porn was Jerry Watching When He Died?

Les Cousins Dangereux 37









Jesus, Joseph and Mary: A Threesome 30









Passion of the Dikes 30









And the rest...
I Dismember Mama 18
Christian Coalition Cocks 15
Oral Majority 23
Clavins 30
The Oral Majority III: Wynches in Lynchburg 30
Tinky Winky's Stinky Pinky 26
Jesus Does Nazareth 30
Wet Hot Passion of the Christ 27
Tinkie Winkie's Tinkie Winkie 23
Second Cumming of Jesus 27
The Best of Incest: Jesus Does the Not-So-Virgin Mary 28

Oh and by the way, many people commented on Rebecca's lovely Eastern Market shirt ( I think you all wanted an excuse to look at her C-cups) and as she no doubt told you they are available for sale at many Capitol Hill vendors including Marvelous Market and Dawn Price Baby (the shirt, not the C-cups). Go here for more info or to donate to the cause.

And remember! Tomorrow we learn the winning city in the City vs City Smackdown. Stay tuned! Well, no, don't. Untune and come back tomorrow. That just makes more sense.

It is Ovah!

"We came. We saw. We kicked it's ass!" So went up the mighty battle cry of the winning teams after the completion of the first ever City vs. City Smackdown: at least the DC leg of the event. There are still many a burg that will complete the event tomorrow (yes, we will try harder to get everyone to play on the same night in the future), so I can't go into too many details except to say I think DC did not embarrass itself in the least.

Were the questions tough? Surely. This is Quizzo. Were the teams up to the challenge? Hells, yes. Then again, we're kinda playing in avacuum here. Who knows how we'll compare with the others...? Only time will tell.

The evening began with a few gettin' ready for battle tunes (who doesn't get pumped up by "Lose Yourself?") and segueing into a lovely little tune by The Magnetic Fields called "Washington, DC." You could feel the city pride rising in the crowd. That pride carried through to the end of the evening where, when the winners were announced, something happened I'd never seen before at Quizzo: the losing teams cheered, yes, flat out cheered for the winners. Then again, maybe they were just happy it wasn't The Clavins?

I'm tired and I go to bed proud of my teams. Of course, tomorrow I'll wake to discover that we were blown away by Philly, but for tonight, we rest as champions. Sweet dreams.

(Winners' details to follow in a future post. )

Torturous Questions

"My main man. Tell me something, OK? What is the problem with Michael Jackson?"
Interrogator, Three Kings

So we're less than seven hours away from the first City vs City Quizzo and things, finally, are set. Things were actually much closer to set this morning when I received the questions for tonight, but decidedly far from set when, while loading the audio round onto my iPod, the indespensible little mother went kablooey and froze up on me. Oh, Crap.

But now a few hours later, hot tempers have had a chance to cool and after banging the iPod on my desk, depriving it of legal council and holding it under water for a few minutes (I learned so much from my stay in Guantanamo!) the little bugger is behaving. The audio round is all set. And actually, it's my favorite round.

I was a little nervous about using questions written by other quizzomasters, their tone is just a little drier than mine, but now I'm over it and looking forward to tonight. What the questions lack in pizzazz they make up for in variety of topic and ... what's the word I'm looking for? Ruthlessness? Let's just say, there's no grey area about what the questions are asking and what the answers are. Whereas my questions can be a little ornate leaving people asking themselves "Does he want the name of the song or the band or the shoe size of the lead singer?" These are all very straight forward. Tell me the name of the dog on Frasier ... or die. I think you'll enjoy them, if you survive. See you all tonight!

A Brief History of Scorebabes

Since the dawn of time, man has needed a special, curvy someone to stand next to him and point at things.

From Vanna to Barker's Beauties to Kari freaking Wuhrer on Remote Control, our culture has demanded that dorky game show hosts have someone really hot stand near them and perform menial tasks well beneath their intelligence level (okay, except Carmen Electra on Singled Out, whose total hottiness could not overcome her horrendous co-hosting. It has nothing to do with the fact that she was hired to replace the irreplaceable Jenny McCarthy, she was just so pretty and so very, very, very dumb). Basically, we love soft and pretty, but we really love soft, pretty and smart. I learned this many, many years ago when I started having a corresponding secretary type help me score all the rounds of Quizzo which could help make the game go faster and give me the chance for piss breaks. Originally a silent partner who worked for a free drink or two, the role has developed under Rebecca's watch to a non-silent partner who kills on the mic, is beloved by the crowd and works for a free drink or eight.

Until Rebecca finally succumbed to my ineffable charms and decided to move to DC, I had a variety of wonderful (that's code for curvy) friends and co-workers who helped out: Miss Joy, Sara, Faye... and I've had some awesome subs attempt to fill Becca's shoes when she can't make it: Jackie, Lindsay, Maddy, Ariel, Cherie, Olivia; all have leant their time and skills from time to time. There have also been some intrepid (that's code for curvy and drunk) volunteers from the audience who have abandoned their teams in order to come offer their talents on nights when the scorebabe was unexpectedly engaged elsewhere. And while I'm always appreciative, I usually prefer to send them back to their teams. It's nothing personal, I just don't like them, how they smell or what they're wearing.

So Monday, during the City vs City Trivia Tussle, Rebecca has to work her day job at night. That's right, she will not be there. So I'm faced with the quandry of having potentially a really big crowd, lots of new faces and no kick-ass Scorebabe to help keep them all in line. I confess I haven't exactly been beating the bushes for a replacement. I mean, if I can't have the best Scorebabe of all time on such a big night, what's the point in having some stand-in who'll just be a pale substitute? Plus, I know it's killing her to miss such a big night and I think she'd be a little jealous of someone getting to be there in her place.

So, it's decided. I'm going solo. I've done it before. I'll do it again. It just isn't worth it without Rebecca there. Unless Jenny McCarthy's available. I'm not stupid.

Begun it has

So, I outed myself the owner of a small, mangy Quizzo blog today. So now you all know. Guess I better come up with some things to say eventually...

I'm actually about to run out and lose all my money to friends at a poker game, but before I did so I wanted to point everyone to a Washington Post piece written by Fritz Hahn about the City vs. City Smackdown.

How great is it to live in a city where one of the Going Out Gurus is a trivia nutjob? Lucky me. Fritz plays all coy like he can't figure out why he loves our game so much. He won't just own up the fact that he's a little obsessed with useless information. If I had a dollar for every time he tried to pimp some wholly bizarre piece of information to me that "would make a great question," I would have many more dollars to lose at my poker game tonight.

A few quick things to refute in the article ... You do not have to be there by 6 to play. Fritz asked when people should show up and I suggested early (I know Tuesday night tables can fill up as early as 5:30), but it is not mandatory to "register" (what?) by 6. Hell, come late. We'll still let you play.

Also, about the spies. It's true. We've hired a team of tiny ninjas (possibly related to Eastern Market fishmongers) to patrol the grounds looking for unscrupulous scallywags who would attempt to profit through inappropriate means. So don't even try it people. You don't want to go out like that.

Have a beautiful weekend. Call your moms.

City vs. City Quizzo

7 PM, Monday, May 14th at the Pour House.

It is on like the proverbial Donkey Kong.

Atlantic City, Baltimore, Chicago, DC, Denver,

Ottawa, Philadelphia, Seattle and Toronto

Nine cities. Over $600 in cash and prizes. Time for some fun.

I met Johnny Goodtimes when he came through town last year on a cross country blogging tour. He sat in for a round of Tuesday night Quizzo and served up some good, tough questions for DC's finest audience to tangle with. Oh, and he got heckled a lot too.

Well, that heckling must have stuck in his craw a bit because he came up with an idea to pit Philly against DC in a vicious no-holds barred trivia throwdown. Well, maybe he had the idea after he'd already gotten confirmations from Seattle and Denver, but the point is we are now one of nine (NINE!) cities participating in this behemoth of a thing. Each city's Quizzomaster is pitching in 50 bucks towards a $300 grand prize plus a $150 second place grand prize. Sounds good, huh? However, because not all cities could play on the same night, we will not know the winning cities until late Tuesday or possibly Wednesday. (Check this blog to learn the results!) And because I know you kids need instant gratification in your lives, the good folks down at the Pour House are kicking in bartabs and cash for the top three DC teams ($100, $50 and $20).

So how will it work? It will work thusly: There's a $10 buy-in per team and your team cannot exceed 8 members. The game is five rounds with each round getting increasingly harder for increasingly more points. And knowing the guys who are putting the questions together (and I don't) these are going to be some tasty, tough questions.

A few more things: There's no jokering, there will be one audio round (perhaps a disadvantage for DC since you people never shut up) and there will be special Delta Force level tie-breaker mechanisms in place for both DC team vs DC team tie breaking as well as city vs city tie breakage. Trust me. This is going to work.

If you have any questions about this, please feel free to ask me immediately after the game on Monday because I really do care.

Now I know you people are already spending your winnings in your heads on phone bills, Play Stations and heart felt Mother's Day cards, but let me remind you what the most important part of this little international trivia tourney is: Bragging Rights! Mine. Not yours. I don't know if you're aware, but DC is considered a bottom feeder in this thing. They think we're a joke. Odds are being laid on the side that we're going to lose to everyone, including Ottawa. I wish I were making this up. Please, kids, please. When you come to play on Monday (and I know you're coming) I need you to bring it. Bulk up on pasta, re-read A Separate Peace, spend the weekend watching reruns of Charles in Charge, memorize the complete biography of Jim Varney if you must, do whatever you have to do to ensure your team gets a win. Because when the dust settles on this bad boy we want to see the District of Columbia, the little district who could, standing above the battered, bloated carcases of the other laughably pathetic cities. Bring it, DC. I know you can do it.

We saved Eastern Market all by ourselves!

Wow, Wowie and Wowsers. What a great turn out tonight. The place was pizz-acked with good friends, new and old. Wall to wall. Not that we've never been wall to wall before, but let's just say, it's been a month or two before it was REALLY packed. Very nice. Very nice indeed.


We instigated Operation Blog tonight with Rebecca taking pics of the winning teams (note to self: question next week on Operation Dumbo Drop) which seemed to go well. We also were raising money for Eastern Market Rescue and I have to say, the people there tonight GOT it. I mean, I'd like to think they were there for Quizzo, but they were mostly there for a burned out shell of a market and that meant so much more to me. At last count we had raised over 20 million dollars. Or maybe just twenty. I don't remember. Let's say somwhere in between right now. Full details to follow.

There were four or five teams made up of former regulars who made the trek back to the Pour House and it was really fun to see them back. Jose, Akiva, Andy, Cherie, Olivia, Ashley, Rob, Tom, Josh (I feel like the Romper Room woman with her magic mirror; or for you kids, Prince with his magic mask...): folks we haven't seen in weeks to months. Great to have you all back. But of course the regulars who never left, y'all's the shit. And Emily even brought the girls out (not pictured ... yet) and they helped her team win ... twice! Way to go!

So let's recap how the kids did tonight (best possible score, as always, is 40-ish):

GAME 1 Who doesn't love a threeway? Needed two tiebreakers to break it!

Bill Clinton's Anti-AIDS Strategy 32 (1st)


45 Days in Paris 32 (2nd)



Subpoena Colada 32 (Third)


And their challengers...
Queen Went to the Derby and Became my Old Kentucky Ho 31
One Night in Paris II: Big Momma's Turn 31
Clavins 30
Fort Dix Terrorists: Shooting Blanks 29
Her Majesty's Arsonists 27
LA's Gonorrhea Epidemic Abated for 45 Days 27
Jim and Me 25
Katy's Last Night at Quizzo 24 (Bye Katy!)
We Didn't Start the Fire 20
The Team at the Bar 19
Paris Storms the Bastille 18
Saving the Market One Beer at a Time 16

GAME 2
(Theme Name: What's the worst thing that could be done with the Eastern Market site?)

George W. Bush Commemorative Libary 35


Capitol Disney 33 (Our other double winners of the night)


Clavins 32 (Tiebreaker winners)


And the runners-up...
Rosie O'Donnell Apparel Museum 32
House the Georgetown Library 31
Basra Visitor's Center 29
Marion Barry's Snow Machine, LLC 28
Monorail? Monorail! 28
Build New National's Stadium 28
andguns Whole Sale 28
Build a Starbucks 26
Strangle It, Rape It, Murder It and Throw It in the Ocean 26
Dubya Institute for Foreign Affairs 12

Burning Down the House

One week ago a DC landmark and the place where I buy food for my family, Eastern Market, burned down. Or up, more accurately. Most of it is still there, a charred hull of what was a truly charming bit of an old-world shopping experience. It's a large reason why people move to this neighborhood. Within the cavernous, not-up-to-fire-code, brick and mortar building were butchers, produce sellers, a florist, the stinky cheese man, a bakery, a fish mongery... it was delightful. The place was packed on weekends with people not from my neighborhood which kind of sucked, but on weekdays, after work I could head down there just before they closed and pick up enough fresh ingredients to make a dinner that you were proud of. The place was 487 years old (what an Amazing Funfact!) and a nice reminder of what life was like before supermarkets. Not that supermarkets are all bad; air conditioning and refrigeration have their admirable qualities. But you know what I mean. The merchants didn't know my name, but they knew me. They smiled and chatted with you and if you had a kid with you, they give you a banana. I swear it's true. Real bananas.

Thanks to Eastern Market, our house had Mystery Fish Thursday. You see, not having been raised eating seafood (mom never trusted the freshness of California fish, go figure) I decided we needed to try eating more. Being novices in the ways of fins and gillage, I turned to the fish monger man at EM. On Thursdays I'd walk in just before he closed and ask "What's good?" Whatever he recommended, I bought; took it home and made a meal of it. I tried tilapia, flounder, scrod, salmon, snapper, rockfish, tuna: whatever the little man suggested. (I say little because he was only 27 inches tall. Oddest thing you ever saw.) But I digress... He never steered me wrong, that tiny man, and it was all pretty darn tasty. The secret is lemon. Lemons bought at Eastern Market. You see where I'm going?

Anyway, tomorrow night the Pour House is donating a portion of its proceeds to Eastern Market Rescue to help out the merchants who lost their livelihoods in the fire. Ridiculously, I mentioned it to Fritz over at der Post who told everyone on Going Out Gurus that I've got a fire-themed evening. Uh, yeah, right... Um, guess I'd better get cracking on that one. Oh well, it'll be worth staying up late crafting brilliant questions to raise a little dough for a worthy cause. Hope to see you there (he said to no one in particular).

Cheers!

Day One: I am eaten by sharks

OK, so I've been running Quizzo for over five years. I've barely missed a Tuesday. Rain or shine (has shine really ever delayed anything important? Just asking.), snow or sleet, Election Night or State of the Union (these things are big in this town I'm told), I am THERE. Yes, we usually take off between Christmas and New Years and yes, I have had subs when illness or alien abduction has interfered, but otherwise, I'm Mr. Reliable. With the insanely reliable players I have, really I have to be. Anyway, my point is, I'm not some bush league host who shows up and doesn't know his material. So why, why, why, have I never had a damn web-page to promote this thing that I've sunk a good chunk of my life into?

Basically, I was waiting to see if this internets thing took off or not.

The point is, this City vs. City Quizzo thing has come up and the other cities participating have really cool websites so I thought about freaking time I stepped up. So, my daughter pointed me in the right direction and now I'm typing. This will get better (it can only right?) I am sure.

OK: First lame post is done. I look forward to turning this into a blog worthy of you, the fine reader. See you later.