The Final Countdown

Golly, nothing like the end of an era to bring out the freak in everybody. With just two night of Quizzo remaining, the joint was Packed. Sorrow over the untimely death of Heath Ledger was leavened by the right-on-schedule demise of Fred Thompson's campaign and the unadulterated joy of hearing Sisqo's Thong Song. The tune was such a hit we spontaneously decided that anyone who took the time to let me see their dumps like a truck would score one extra Thong Point for their team. Despite that song being nearly a decade old and the thermometer hovering in the low 30's plenty of folks still wear skimpy thongs. God bless 'em. And God bless all the ladies who took the time to share. And thank God they were all ladies. In the interest of fairness, we decided to award Thong Points at Quizzo from now on. And since there's only one more Quizzo left, you know what to do: wear your finest thongery for Q-Day (1/29/2008) and win one last lascivious point for your team; no trivia knowledge needed for that!

And as I just mentioned, this Tuesday the 29th is the real Super Tuesday for the year: our last Quizzo. Should be a lot of fun. We keep coming me up with extra prizes (sorry, no trip to Fiji, as rumored) and twists on the game to make sure as many people as possible walk away with something. Management assures me they're bringing in some extra swag to spread around as well as some Shot Rounds like ye olde days. Sounds good to me. I have also heard a few regulars say that they're planning on coming down extra, extra, extra early for this. You people move me deeply. And you're freaking weird. God I love you.

Better than coming early, I hope you stay late. Becca and I have every intention to make our last night last a long time, to raise a glass, reminisce a bit, and maybe eve neck with as many of you as possible. I already told work I've got a doctor's appointment Wednesday morning...

See you soon. Don't forget your thong!

GAME ONE

$30 winners: MONSTER'S 8 BALL 38









$20 winners: HEATH LEDGER FOR LIFE 37









$10 winners: HEATH LEDGER ABORTS SELF
IN MISGUIDED ROE VS WADE CELEBRATION 37









$3 TRANSACTION FEE 27
ABORTING MY BABY IN THE US 26
CROAKBACK MOUNTAIN 35
HEATH LEDGER SUICIDE NOTE: LIE W/O NEAL NOT WORTH LIVING 24
FLATLINERS: HEATH, FRED AND MY PORTFOLIO 26
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT ODS 33
POOR-O AT THE QUIZZHOUSE 34
NOW FRED THOMPSON CAN SOLVE THE HEATH LEDGER CASE 13
CLAVINS 33
TOM BRADY'S BOOTIE ON OUR MINDS 34
WE'RE ON A MISSION FROM GOD 34
I FIGURED OUT HOW TO QUIT YOU 29
TRYING TOO HARD 21
RAW DOGG 36
WHAT IS BEN BERNANKE SMOKING? 31
NUMERO OCHO 30
bs&p 500 31
roe vs wade is 35, my aborted fetus is still zero 35
hey scorebabe, is it still swinging if they're both named Neal? 32


GAME TWO - WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH YOUR FREE TUESDAY NIGHTS WHEN QUIZZO IS OVER?

$30 WINNERS: WE'LL COME TO THE POURHOUSE FOR THE YUMMY VITTLES 37









$20 WINNERS: WORK ON MY STIMULUS PACKAGE 34









$10 WINNERS: FINALLY START MY TOM GREEN FANSITE 33










STAY HOME AND BEAT MY CLAVIN 31 (i1tp)
PUT MY PENCIL DOWN AND TURN 'EM IN, TURN 'EM IN, TURN 'EM IN 29 (i1tp)
WE'LL QUIZZO WITH OUR THREE IMAGINARY FRIENDS 27
CLAVINS 27 (i1tp)
SLUMBER PARTY AT MARY-KATE'S 24
EVERY DAY WILL BE SUPER TUESDAY 19
PULLING A HEATH LEDGER 32
MAKING BABIES FOR ABORTIONS 32
SHOW UP 3 HOURS EARLY TO OTHER BARS 24 (i1tp)
WORKING AT CAMELOT 25
CATCH UP ON ALL THOSE BUFFY EPISODES 28
GET STDS AT HAWK AND DOVE 22
CAFE MOZART: HALF PRICE BEERS 24 (i1tp)
GO BACK TO WORKING WITH THE TRANNIES AT 5TH & K 23
WIPING MORRIE'S ASS 27
HAIL THE CASH CAB 17
QUIZZO IS ENDING? 23
TWO GIRLS, ONE TUESDAY 27
SAME THING WE DO EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT,
PINKY, TRY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD 20

i1tp = INCLUDES ONE THONG POINT!